In the birth of silence I engulf myself

Bleeding into a trance of self asphyxiation

Gasping for air, reaching for help

But no one's there

No one but me

Encaged in the parameters of my making

Choked by the hands of my decisions

Chained by the conclusions of my internal expression.

I'm broken, weak, exasperated.

Without faith, expelled from the community of hope.

Excommunicated from the unity of light

Made subject to the forces of darkness by my own ways

Neglecting the messengers of truth and all they say

Now my feet are soiled in turmoil

My eyes look up to see darkness

My insides feel the comfort of impending destruction and my soul is gladdened.

But when impact comes, destruction is never enough.

My hope is never fulfilled

My cup has been measured

And I drink it eternally

For good measure

The price of my neglect

Perverse preferences

Intentional ignorance

And wilful wrongs.

By virtue of the value of life, I owe a great deal

I am eternally indebted

And for this my pain will continue

Endlessly.

For my love for darkness, stripped of light

For my passion for lust, the desire to die

For my preferences, I have no choice

For my ignorance, the knowledge of the potency of my inaction

For my wrongs, destruction.

So I wait in silence

For the next episode

Of this eternal event.